


Find a Way to Rise Again

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Game of Thrones Season 8 [16]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death Fix, Confessions, Episode Fix-it, F/M, Post-Episode: s08e05 The Bells, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 02:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18863878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: When the dust settles after the attack on King’s Landing, Brienne searches for Jaime.





	Find a Way to Rise Again

**Author's Note:**

> I’m still angry about the shit show that the last episode was. Which means I had to find another way to make it better.
> 
> Title comes from [From The Grave](https://youtu.be/J22uLv8J1Gc) by James Arthur

Brienne looks around at the destruction and fights down a wave of nausea. She'd immediately come to the tunnels below the Red Keep when Lord Tyrion had told her that's where Jaime would have tried to get out.

She'd hoped that he made it. Let herself believe that he had, even as they thought of him running off with Cersei made his chest ache.

It was better than the alternative.

Better than finding the boat and realizing they'd never made it to it.

Better than digging her way into the tunnels with the help of Podrick and Ser Davos and seeing the state of it all.

_No one could survive this,_ she thinks.

She quickly pushes the thought away. She has to find Jaime. Even if it is just his body.

A hand rests on her arm and she looks over to see Podrick watching her in concern. He's been looking at her that way a lot lately. Ever since Jaime left.

But it feels different now.

“You shouldn't see him like this Ser,” Podrick tells her.

“I have to find him,” Brienne mutters. She pushes past Podrick to move towards another pile of concrete.

“You don't know what you're going to find,” Podrick insists. “Do you really want to see him like that?”

Brienne doesn't answer him. She doesn't think she could get the words out.

Of course she doesn't want to see Jaime's bloody and broken body. That's the last thing she wants. But she can't just leave him here. He deserves better than that. He deserved better than to die here, despite what he may have thought.

She's about to tell Podrick this when she catches a flash of gold glinting in the sunlight spilling through the cracks.

A golden hand.

_Jaime_.

She rushes forward, stumbling over the rubble in her haste to get to him. Podrick calls after her but she doesn't stop. She can't.

She still slows when she gets close, knowing what she's about to find on the other side of the piles of rocks in her path. She feels a lump forming in her throat as she starts to move it aside.

“Ser,” Podrick says, having finally caught up with her. “Perhaps you should be more careful. It’s not just…”

“I know that!” Brienne snaps.

Her hands still on the big piece of concrete she was working to move. She can feel her composure slipping. She’s tried so hard to stay in control of her emotions. Especially after that night Jaime left her sobbing in the courtyard of Winterfell. She wouldn’t break like that again. Or so she told herself.

“I think young Podrick and I can handle moving this, Ser Brienne,” Ser Davos tells her.

She takes a deep breath and nods, moving back to allow Davos and Podrick to work on getting the rest of the concrete out of the way.

Everything in her wants to fight. Wants to move the rubble away until her hands are bloody and she finds him.

“Here!” Davos calls. “He's here!”

Podrick rushes towards where Davos is moving away a last piece of rubble. Brienne stands frozen. She suddenly can't bring herself to move.

Davos and Podrick are taking quietly to each other but Brienne can't make out what they're saying. Finally Podrick turns to her, his face a mixture of shock and relief.

“He's alive Ser.”

Brienne's knees give out and she buckles to the ground. She notices Podrick starting to come towards her and waves him off. “Help him.”

Brienne kneels there, watching as Podrick and Davos work on freeing Jaime. When they emerge with him being carried in Podrick's arms, Brienne stands.

She looks down at the man in Podrick's arms and can't fight back a sob of relief. He's dirty and bloody but he's alive. Somehow he survived.

She turns to Davos, asking the question that she knows everyone will be wanting to know. “Cersei?”

Davos shakes his head. “A rock landed on her head. Her skull was crushed. She's barely recognizable.”

Brienne nods. “We need to get Jaime out of here to be seen to. Others can come and work on Cersei. It's not as if she's going anywhere.”

Podrick looks surprised for a moment at Brienne's words but then he nods.

Brienne takes a step towards him and holds out her arms, “Give him to me.”

“Ser I can…”

“I can handle it Podrick,” Brienne says. “Now _please_ give him to me.”

Podrick does as she asks. Brienne takes comfort in feeling Jaime alive in her arms. It's going to take him time to recover, no doubt. But he will. She'll see to that.

* * *

 

Having Jaime alive and breathing next to her is a terrifying new reality after those hours searching and fearing for his death. She's grateful. Relieved. But terrified all the same.

Now she has to face the prospect of what comes next. So will he when he wakes up. If he wakes up.

The maester assures her he will. His body just needs more time to heal. His mind probably does as well.

Tyrion had come almost immediately after receiving word of Jaime's survival. She'd stood back and watched as he wept over his brother. It occurred to her that he hadn't thought he'd see him alive again.

He's been sitting at Jaime's side since, with Brienne occupying the other side. They haven't spoken. Brienne is grateful. She's not sure how much she trusts her voice right now. But she knows Lord Tyrion. Words will be coming once he's able to voice them.

It's not until after Podrick has stopped by to check on them and been assured that they’re still alright that Tyrion speaks.

“He loves you,” Tyrion tells her. He looks up from Jaime's unconscious form to meet her gaze. “He was so happy with you in Winterfell. I'd never seen him that happy.”

“He wasn't happy enough to stay,” Brienne mutters, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

Tyrion gives her a sympathetic smile, “He's a smart man, but in some areas he really is an idiot.”

“Is that anyway to talk about someone that almost died?” Jaime says, startling them both.

Brienne stares down at him, watching as his eyes slowly blink open. They move, taking in his surroundings, before settling on him.

“My lady.”

Brienne can only stare at him. Now that he's awake he's unsure what to say. Nothing seems appropriate. There's a pain in his eyes. One that was there the night he left her.

She reaches out, silently taking his hand. The relief on his face is immediate. Tyrion clears his throat and gets to his feet.

“I'm probably needed elsewhere,” he says. “I'm glad you're alive. I'll be back to check in. For now, I know you're in good hands.”

Jaime nods but his eyes don't leave Brienne's.

Brienne uses her right hand to pour him a glass of water and brings it to his lips. He drinks greedily and then his head falls back against his pillow.

He doesn’t ask about Cersei. She thinks he must already know. Either instinctively or he put it all together.

He looks tired, and Brienne wonders if she should leave him to sleep. She has every intention of asking but the words that come out are something else.

“You left.”

Jaime grimaces, “I did.”

“You almost died.”

“I was sure I would.”

“Is that what you wanted?” Brienne asks him. “To die in there with your sister?”

“Of course not,” Jaime snaps. “What I wanted was to stay in Winterfell with you, Brienne. To build a life with you. But that's not what I deserved.”

She sighs, “Jaime.”

“Do you think I wanted to hurt you?” Jaime asks her. “Do you think that was easy for me? To leave the woman I love standing there crying and asking me to stay knowing that I was most likely going off to die?”

There's a pain in his voice that makes her want to gather him into her arms and hold him. But she refrains. She tells herself it's because of his injuries. But part of her isn't sure if she's allowed. While another part is afraid if she gives in that will be what finally causes her to break.

She doesn't ask why he did it. He made it perfectly clear. He left her for Cersei. He might love her but he'll always love Cersei more.

“I'm sorry you couldn't save her,” she says.

Jaime frowns. “Is that why you think I came here?” When Brienne simply nods, he shakes his head. “I knew there was no saving her. She'd told me herself that she wasn't ever going to leave the city alive. I knew that. I just couldn't let her die alone.”

“Because you loved her,” Brienne says.

“Yes. But not the way I used to. In the end all that mattered to me was that she was my sister. The person I came into the world with. I always thought we'd leave it together. But Brienne, as the Red Keep started crumbling around me all I thought about was you. I thought about your eyes and those blissful moments we shared together.”

Brienne closes her eyes as she feels tears starting to sting at them. Even in leaving her Jaime had found a way to be honorable.

Jaime pulls his hand away from hers and Brienne closes her eyes tighter. Even after hearing that he loves her, part of her is preparing for rejection. He had left her, after all. Him thinking about her in what he believed were his last moments doesn't change that.

She feels the warmth of his calloused hand on her cheek and holds her breath.

“Brienne.”

Her name is spoken softly, reminding her of another time he'd spoken her name in that same manner.

“Will you look at me please?”

Brienne wishes she had it in her to refuse, but she learned long ago there's not a lot she wouldn't do for him.

She opens her eyes and looks down at him. There's a pain and vulnerability in his eyes that she's sure mirrors her own.

“I am sorry I hurt you,” he tells her. “I understand if you can't forgive me for what I've done.”

“You've done far worse things Jaime Lannister,” she says. “And for less honorable reasons. I'm not going to hold this one against you.”

“I really don't deserve you,” he whispers. His fingers brush across her cheek as he watches her.

“You do, because I say you do. Despite what you might think, you are a good man. And I…”

“You what?”

The words should be harder to say. She's held them tightly to her chest for years. But after everything they've been through she doesn't want to hide them. Not anymore.

“I love you.” She leans down, resting her head against his. “I know our child will love you just as much.”

She hears Jaime sick in a breath before he pulls back to look at her. His eyes drift to where her stomach is hidden behind the loose flowing shirt she's wearing.

“You mean…?”

“I'm pregnant,” she says. It's easier to say the words now than the weeks after she found out. Back then she was sure she'd be raising their child alone. That she would have to choose between telling their child the truth or making up some story about who their father was.

She doubts she ever could have lied. Even after everything that happened Jaime is a good man. She's glad their child will get to see that for themselves.

Jaime's face breaks out into a wide grin and she knows she made the right decision to tell him now.

“I'm going to be a father,” he whispers.

“You are.”

“And you,” he says, his eyes lifting to meet hers. “You're going to be a mother.”

“That's usually the way it works.”

Jaime laughs. He uses his hand to pull her down for an enthusiastic kiss.

“Are you sure I'm not dead?” he asks her. She pinches his side and he yells, trying to move away. “Now that's uncalled for, Ser Brienne. I'm injured.”

“But you're alive,” she replies.

Jaime shakes his head, a fond smile on his face. “I'm alive.”

“Thank the gods for that,” Tyrion says. “I was thinking I was going to have to marry Ser Brienne myself.”

Brienne remembers that conversation. How he'd taken her hand after she'd told him of the pregnancy and told her he'd marry her to ensure the child wasn't a bastard. It had been hard for her to be angry. She knew his heart was in the right place.

“Thank the gods it didn't come to that,” Jaime mutters. He turns to Brienne, his face serious. Brienne knows what's coming before the words even leave his mouth. “Brienne…”

“Jaime you don't have to,” she quickly cuts in.

Jaime narrows his eyes, “Of course I do. You're carrying my child. And don't for one second think that this isn't something I hadn't thought about before. I want us to be married, Ser Brienne. If you'll have me.”

There are so many things she wants to say. So many ways she could answer him. She smiles. “I've never married a knight before.”

Jaime's answering smile is soft and fond, “Neither have I. But I would like to. What do you say?”

She leans down and kisses him softly, “Yes.”

Tyrion claps and says something about getting wine. All Brienne can focus on is Jaime.

She knows they still have a lot to talk about and work through. But for now she lets herself be happy and live in this moment. The war is over.  Jaime is alive. He’s back with her. Everything else could wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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